How is it I feel so lonely when I'm in a room full of people? It never gets easier, it only gets harder, harder to hide the truth. Never knew it was possible to be in love yet feel no love. I feel like an empty bottle, that empty bottle of liquor next to me. The flame of love has gone out, much like the cigarette I left sitting in the ash tray.
I used to dream of the day when I'd leave this "hell on earth" and walk the never ending plain of the after life. Tried drinking myself under, but never did reach 6 feet below. Then there was that day, that fateful day of my life. I met him! He changed me into something I never thought I'd be, a wife, and a mother, a fighter and a lover.
Now I wonder, should I have knocked that wall down? Or should I have let it stand? Where would I be safer? What if, what if. Things are supposed to happen a certain way, but why does that certain way end with my heart being broke. Being broke into a thousand pieces, with no glue to put it back together.
I can't just quit, I can't just walk away. There is no detour sign in my road, it's a one-way only. So my only choice is to fix this bumpy road, and then keep driving on. And once I fix this bumpy patch, I'm not gonna look back in the rear-view mirror. Just gonna keep on staring ahead waiting for the next set of twists and turns.
He gave me meaning, he gave me hope. He gave me a feeling I've never once felt! Then he ripped it away, he just quit trying. Can't figure out why, can't figure out how. Just know I gotta fix this some way. Nothings impossible, all problems can be solved. Its just lack of propriety in the people of today's world.
Looking for my answers, looking for the reasons. Am I looking in the wrong place? Or is it just me? I need some guidance, I need some help. Can't do this alone, can't do this without. Just gotta keep pushing forward, gotta keep going on. One day it will work itself out, it will all be better.
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